


The Illiad

by Milliscent09



Series: Sometimes following your Heart means losing your Mind [1]
Category: The 100 (TV)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-31
Updated: 2017-08-31
Packaged: 2018-12-21 23:31:14
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,025
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11954991
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Milliscent09/pseuds/Milliscent09
Summary: BellamyThe aftermath,The duration,The awakening





	The Illiad

**Author's Note:**

> How do I wake my spirit cold?  
> Most people die but others just go  
> She’s still out there and the chasm grows  
> Steady are the feet in the morning glow
> 
> Spirit Cold - Tall Heights

It’s been days since Bellamy and the others have arrived at the Ring. He honestly can’t imagine being there for years. 

 

He needs something to keep him occupied. Raven and Monty were off trying to get everything up and running on the ring. In situations like this he felt hopeless. Unless there was someone to fight or a huge decision that needed to be made, he wasn't useful and he just felt in the way. So taking a walk felt like a good use of his time. Plus he needed to walk off some of this anxiety he had built up before he just broke down in front of everyone. 

 

Walking the cold metal corridors, he couldn’t help thinking about her. To be honest, he didn't even feel like being there anymore. She was gone. He left her behind and all he could think was that it was his fault. If he would have just went with her to the tower…..

 

No, he couldn’t hash this out in his head anymore. It wasn't helping him. It was making him pretty toxic to be around and he knew it. But everyone understood. Of course they did. He loved her. And because life's a bitch, it took him losing her to finally realize it. 

 

Somehow while wandering, he ended up in the cell blocks. It took him about 5 minutes to even be able to cross the threshold of her cell. Being there was like being in her presence. She was all over the walls. Most of her sketches were of Earth. The Earth she imagined before actually being there. Experiencing it, with him. He couldn’t think about the forest, or a sunset without thinking of her. How her eyes were as clear blue as the sky and her hair was as bright as the sun. And now that was all gone. Claimed in fire and ash. 

 

And then he found something pretty incredible and oddly familiar. It was his freckles that grabbed his attention. They were so meticulously drawn, from close up they looked like constellations he sees looking out the window.  

 

She had drawn him. 

 

Somehow, before they were Bellamy and Clarke, before being sent down to Earth, she had noticed him, at least enough to draw him. That was what broke him. Like the damn breaking on a river, he lost all control.Losing his footing he, slid down the wall, his head falling into his hands. Tears starting to fall down his face. Hyperventilating, he started screaming into the empty room. 

 

“Why?” 

“Why did you have to be the one left behind?” He sobbed

“You know I don't know how to be without you. I need you!” he began to yell. 

 

At some point he ended up sprawled on the floor staring out the window in the ceiling and all he could see was Earth covered in fire. He honestly didn't want to be in a world without her. But he knew he had a responsibility to those he came up here with. There wasn’t time for sulking, although everyone understood. For gods sake he loved her. She brought out all that was good in him. She was his anchor, his head, and now that was gone. His heart felt like is was torn from his chest and the idea of him and her was ripped from him before he could even tell her how much she meant to him. 

 

He needed to get out of this room. But no matter how sad this place was making him, it also was the closest to her he felt since they they left Earth. 

 

After a few hours of just laying on the floor, he mustered all the strength he had left and got up. He decided he needed to walk again. Heading out of her room he started back to their main area where they have set up their command center. About half way back he stopped next to another window and took one last look. Thinking about her again and that moment on the lab balcony, he ran her words through his head. 

 

_ “You’ve got such a big heart Bellamy.” she said so matter of factly.  _

 

_ “Clarke” he hesitated, knowing where this was going. _

 

_ “People follow you. You inspire them because of this” pointing to his heart.  _

 

_ “But the only way to make sure we survive is if you use this too” pointing to his head.  _

 

_ “I got you for that” he said. But it was his eyes that were doing most of the talking. He looked at her with such conviction. They were a team! He knew she thought she was dying, and this was her shitty way of trying to say goodbye. But he couldn’t listen to it. He wouldn’t accept it. _

 

Snapping out of his last moments with Clarke he found himself back in the command center with everyone sort of just lingering around, trying to keep busy. Raven walked up to him and attempted to console him, obviously noticing he had been crying but all he could do was sink to the floor thinking how could he survive without her. 

 

Static blared through the speakers starling everyone into confusion. Raven attempted to adjust the frequencies so whatever or whoever was trying to use the radio could come in clearer or to at least attempt to turn the damn thing down. 

 

And then, clear as day, a voice rang through the speakers. 

 

Her voice. 

 

“Bell…...my?” 

 

“Bellamy….are you there? Are…….alive?”

No one moved. All they could do was stare at Bellamy. He started to look around as if he was confused. Not sure if what he was hearing was real. His eyes finally locked on the speakers that were delivering her voice to them. To him. 

 

After some pause she started again, “I made it…. I’m alive.” and then it went dead. 

 

The room was silent as he rose from the floor and walked to the windows staring down to Earth, knowing she was there waiting for them. Alive. Five years would be a long hard time to wait, but then he would be going home, to her. 


End file.
